I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
