Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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