They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
