The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
