dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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