he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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