I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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