the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
