He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
