He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Boobs speak an international language.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
