She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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