grandma shit on top of the toilet
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
