yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
