Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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