I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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