you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
