Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
