Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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