Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
