**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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