alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
