I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
