we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
NoShamevember. You game?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
