Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
