But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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