decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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