We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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