well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize