OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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