I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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