My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
where are my eyebrows?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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