the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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