Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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