I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize