So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
