I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
