Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm at about main and main street
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
