i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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