A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
