She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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