I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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