oh god the rape fog is back!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
