Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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