I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
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