Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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