if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
