Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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