I want to walk on stilts...naked
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
