A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
