It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
nutella sex= disaster
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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