She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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