dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
In America we eat man semen.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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