Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
