What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
This toilet bowl is my home.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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