i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
