I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
