I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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