My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
