There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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