Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
