Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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