HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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