Having a random hookup so left but love u
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
