best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize