Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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